Its funny I just wrote a post about being stronger in life, and strength training, and now I’m gonna tell you that sometimes stuff sucks. I don’t personally think this is me sucking less, its just my body sucking less.

For about 1-2 years I have been experiencing ongoing shoulder pain. Come to find out I have a torn labrum, bone spur, and tendonitis. How do I get this stuff? If you read about me earlier, I am can be very abusive to my body. Heavy lifting, hardcore martial arts training, and just general stuff that over the years has taken its toll. I’ve always had this do or die attitude because I am so scared of letting my life slip me by, and not ever doing things that challenge me.

But in doing so, I have now broken down my body and facing surgery in 5 days. I will be out for 6 weeks. No lifting, training, fighting, etc. Shoulder completely immobilized. Freakin sucks.

I’m actually having a real hard time dealing with it. I’m scared that when I am not able to exercise I’ll become a dick (I need to get my energy out), I’ll become weak, and I might gain fat. I’ve been very healthy lately and slowing finding out what my optimum weight is by still maintaining my strength, but losing a few pounds a week. I bulked up over the holidays and hit 265. I am now down to 235 and feeling really good. My strength really hasn’t changed either. I gain weight very easily and I like to eat. I am mostly a fit guy, but I battle with some extra pounds. That is how I suck everyday. I battle my urge to pound food like I did 5-10 years ago. So like I said, I’m scared I’ll go right back up in weight, and lose all my strength.

So my challenge for the next 6 weeks is to not suck at being healthy, calm, and focused on healing. It ties back to my previous post. I need to be a healthy healing mental warrior so I can get back to being a health brutal physical fighting warrior as soon as possible!